The legacy of domestic violence.

January 21, 2013 at 4:19 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Many of the orders that we process at i-docServe involve families with children. Whilst there is a lot of information out there regarding the effects of domestic abuse upon the victims themselves, it is also important to realise that domestic violence in the home has a serious impact on children. Children can become witness to domestic violence in a number of ways, whether it is by being in the same room and therefore getting caught up in an incident or by hearing the incidents of violence from another room. They might also see the physical injuries that are left after an incident of domestic abuse.

Department of Health statistics show that at least 750,000 children a year bear witness to domestic violence and in some cases, become victims of the same perpetrator themselves. Women’s Aid note that children are completely dependent on the adults around them and therefore can be impacted negatively in both physical and emotional ways if they are brought up around domestic violence. Women’s Aid rightly says that all children witnessing domestic violence are being emotionally abused themselves, which has been highlighted in recent legislation.

While we know that children will react in different ways to being brought up in a home in which domestic violence occurs, we do know that most children will be affected in some way by the distressing incidents. They may feel that they are to blame, along with emotions of anger, guilt, insecurity, confusion and loneliness. They may have confusing feelings towards both the abuse and the non-abusing parent. Famous actor Patrick Stewart wrote in The Guardian in 2009, describing his feelings towards his domestically violent father:

“As a child I witnessed his repeated violence against my mother, and the terror and misery he caused was such that, if I felt I could have succeeded, I would have killed him. If my mother had attempted it, I would have held him down. For those who struggle to comprehend these feelings in a child, imagine living in an environment of emotional unpredictability, danger and humiliation week after week, year after year, from the age of seven. My childish instinct was to protect my mother, but the man hurting her was my father, whom I respected, admired and feared”.

There is a huge range of support available for those in domestically violent relationships that involve children. The Women’s Aid website has a list of charities and organisations ready to help, and more information about what to do if your child is being affected by domestic